(I meant to post this earlier, but forgot)
I’m bisexual. My family doesn’t approve, thinks it’s a phase, etc. But I have realized… it doesn’t matter. I don’t care. I am not them, and I refuse to be judged based on them, by them, or because of them.
A gentleman (and I use that word very, very loosely) once spoke with me at Starbucks, shortly before I quit. He mentioned how he felt that anyone who didn’t speak English was an illegal immigrant and shouldn’t be here, and should be punished to the fullest extent of the law, blah blah blah. He then asked me how I would feel if I knew my parents/relatives came over here illegally, or I was only a US citizen because they did something illegally. He asked me if I would feel any less of myself, and told me that he would.
I realize that my response to him then applies just as equally to any other similar disdain today. I would not feel less. Whatever my parents did, it wasn’t me. I refuse to be held responsible for their actions, I refuse to try to make up for debts that they incur (and yes, this applies for still feeling bad for Native Americans to the point of knocking down “white people” as it were… that was then, this is now, we need to forgive and move on, and note that I did not say forget), and I refuse to have others judge me based on someone else’s choices.
The most important thing we have in this world is love. Everyone, everyone is deserving of love, if simply because they are another person. I don’t care what horrible actions they may have committed, we should still love the person. There should always be forgiveness… nothing is too great to forgive, no person is too low to love. Not even, as Harry realized, Voldemort.
So first, a note to those who don’t agree with gay marriage. It’s okay. Really, it is. You don’t have to agree with it. You don’t have to think it’s holy and pure if you don’t want to. That’s the beauty of freedom. But what goes around, comes around. Just as you don’t have to agree, you also don’t have to forbid. Equality does mean everyone. What they… what we’re asking is not for your unconditional support, approval and embrace… just back off enough, love us as individual people, and give us the freedom to practice as we wish, just as the same is awarded to you.
And secondly, a note to those who’re coming out. To quote the ever popular Sassy Gay Friend, It. Gets. Better. You’re not alone. There are plenty of others just like you out there, and plenty of people who want to show you love and support. Don’t let others’ insecurity get you down. Be true to yourself, because lying to yourself will only make you weaker, and life harder. You can never be truly happy when you’re hiding. People may hate you and look down on you for being honest, but you will feel better about yourself. I promise. I’ve been there. And through the hurts the world slings, there is a freedom in knowing that you aren’t lying anymore, you aren’t pretending.
No more denying, I gotta face it
Won’t close my eyes and hide the truth inside
If I don’t make it, someone else will
Stand My Ground.